Hard to believe it’s just 72 days until…well, it’s just hard to believe.🇺🇸🔥
— David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) November 9, 2016
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 72 days until…well, it’s just hard to believe.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 73 days until Our Darkest Urge is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 74 days until a no-hands climax triggered by a 37min rendition of “The Aristocrats” is inaugurated President.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 77 days until a bird nest composed of tampon strings & the missing 18mins of Watergate tape is inaugurated.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 78 days until a low-low-low down payment on a stained sofa with dodgy provenance is inaugurated President.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 79 days until a severed pig’s head wearing a jaunty cap is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 80 days until a complete shit show, inexplicably renewed for two more seasons, is inaugurated President.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 81 days until an eagerly devoured chocolate-covered razor blade is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 84 days until a sad, sexist slur surreptitiously slurred into a small sour-patch Slurpee is inaugurated PotUS 🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 85 days until a desperately under-qualified blobfish is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 86 days until an 8×10 color glossy picture of non-consensual Goatse reenactment is inaugurated President.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 87 days until a a four-finger ring emblazoned with a faux-diamond “SAD!” is inaugurated President of the U.S.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 88 days until a smug turd wearing an “88” t-shirt & blowing a deafeningly loud dog-whistle is inaugurated PotUS🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 91 days until a long-expired condom purchased in a fit of optimism is inaugurated President of the U.S.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 92 days until this very embarrassed tallit is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸pic.twitter.com/Mgcn6XcxPVxPV |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 93 days until a misleading presentation of the Schmidt Sting Pain Index is inaugurated President of the U.S.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 94 days until an idiot’s ideological whinge about ideologues blinded by idiotic ideology is inaugurated PotUS.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 95 days until the mis-rigged rigging of an outrigger canoe is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 98 days until a ball of razor blades in a shadowy toy bin is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 99 days until an “unregulated” industry protected by brutal damage caps is inaugurated President of the U.S.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 100 days until this truck is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸pic.twitter.com/HPYbYmfAhgAhg |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 101 days until a tedious date with Art Garfunkel is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 102 days until a pair of baby shoes (stamping on a human face—forever) is inaugurated President of the U.S.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 105 days until a three-ring binder clamped to an unwilling tongue is inaugurated President of the United States🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 106 days until the phrase “fast-acting stool softener” is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 107 days until 💩 is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 108 days until a goldfish funeral pyre is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 109 days until a $916 million IOU, carelessly lost at the dry-cleaner, is inaugurated President of the US.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 112 days until a non-existent sex tape (now available on VHS and Blu-ray™!) is inaugurated President of the US.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 113 days until a badly botched Turing Test is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 114 days until a sad Emoji of a weeping boar eating a BLT is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 115 days until a schlubby mantrum is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 116 days until wha—? ewch. Guuuuh! Ugh! *Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahhh!!!* 🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 119 days until a half-Dixie™ cup of expired semen substitute is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 120 days until a perpetual payless payday is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 121 days until a portable crib with guillotine “features” is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 122 days until 10 pounds of sweaty dynamite in a five-pound bag is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 123 days until a narcissistic grue with self-esteem issues is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 126 days until the sum of our fears is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 127 days until an actual, literal worst-case scenario is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 128 days until a dubious SEC filing scrawled on moist cotton balls is inaugurated President of the U.S.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 129 days until an impassioned libertarian plea for draconian intellectual property protections is inaugurated.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 130 days until this guy is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸pic.twitter.com/cshYxQanZ0nZ0 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 133 days until a ruthlessly roofied roofer atop a startlingly slanted scaffold is inaugurated President.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 134 days until a slightly damp counterfeit packet of Rock-a-Dile Red Kool-Aid powder is inaugurated President.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 135 days until a candy-corn enema is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 136 days until a vomit-slurping urinal cake is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 137 days until the butter-soft hands of a self-proclaimed “champion of the working class” are inaugurated. 🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) *record scratch* *freeze frame* Yup, that’s me; you’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation… 🇺🇸pic.twitter.com/EHgbagzyskysk |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 140 days until an all-White HAMILTON touring company is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 141 days until the Nuremberg Rally of the Stars is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 142 days until an ill-timed Pokemon GO reference is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 143 days until a precocious case of vengeful chlamydia is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 144 days until a dick stuck in our nation’s collective mashed potatoes is inaugurated President of the U.S.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 147 days until a flood-relief care-package of misprinted “WHITE LIVES MATTER” t-shirts is inaugurated President🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 148 days until a spittle-flecked, full-throttle burkini freakout is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 149 days until a bounced tax refund check is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 150 days until the meddling billionaire come to save us from the meddling of billionaires is inaugurated PotUS.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 151 days until a sticky badger lounging in a condemned dumpster is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 154 days until a mediocre genital ventriloquist is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 155 days until a collection notice for an unpaid police-beating co-pay is inaugurated President U.S.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 156 days until a comical typo in a prominent neck tattoo is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 157 days until a high-risk, low-yield tranche of weaponized debt & investment-grade racial slurs is inaugurated🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 158 days until a heavily redacted pocket U.S. Constitution annotated in Cyrillic is inaugurated President.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 161 days until a tiny wang scrawled on a large sheet of premium calfskin vellum is inaugurated President.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 162 days until a sorta-kinda convincing human costume full of earwigs & Crystal Pepsi is inaugurated President.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 163 days until a fistulant payday lender with malice aforethought is inaugurated President of the U.S.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 164 days until a micropenis with a poor grasp of macroeconomics is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 165 days until a suppurating rage-hog is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 168 days until your mom’s secret stash of hangover regrets is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 169 days until an uncompensated prison guard on a cough-syrup binge is inaugurated President of the U.S.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 170 days until a Magnum™ condom bought solely to impress nosey housekeepers is inaugurated President.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 171 days until a lightly rinsed perpetual pill is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 172 days until a large pile of money suspiciously left beneath a dangling anvil is inaugurated President.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 175 days until an unattributed quote from a vilified source is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 176 days until a birthday wish for global armed conflict is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 177 days until a priceless vase on a tippy pedestal is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 178 days until a principled stand to ignore concrete suffering is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 179 days until an unread copy of the PROTOCOLS OF THE ELDERS OF ZION is inaugurated President.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 182 days until a structurally unsound promise of an entirely untenable future is inaugurated President.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 183 days until the least viable kayfabe in pro-wrestling history is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 184 days until an inaugural address entirely copied from Wikipedia is inaugurated President of the US.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 185 days until a middle-school “Plagiarism” essay entirely copied from Wikipedia is inaugurated President.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 186 days until a gelatinous cube is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 189 days until a benzene martini (two olives and a twist) is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 190 days until an “ALL LIVE MATTER!!!” t-shirt (available in men’s XL only) is inaugurated President.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 191 days until a pair of bespoke necropants, two sizes too small, is inaugurated President of the US🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 192 days until a tortuous, tortious duck vagina is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 193 days until a relentlessly self-aggrandizing hog bung is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 196 days until a six-digit student loan on an honorary MBA is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 197 days until a lovingly crocheted stars-n-bars yarmulka is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 198 days until a brain-flecked pillbox hat is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 199 days until a Ken™ doll slowly sinking into a bucket of paint stripper is inaugurated President of the US.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 200 days until a mouthful of snap-bangs is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 203 days until a skin tag with delusions of grandeur is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 204 days until a speculum abandoned in a truck stop urinal is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 205 days until a slightly irregular Hitler bobblehead is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 206 days until a race-riot fundraiser door-prize is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 207 days until a sexually adventurous earwig is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 210 days until a stack of worthless $100 bills steadying a wobbly diner table is inaugurated President.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 211 days until a clown-car pile-up is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 212 days until an untainted tankard of deveined taints is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 213 days until a child’s pinky toe in a roller rink lost-n-found is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 214 days until a dreamcatcher woven from used dental floss & food-grade cartilage nibs is inaugurated President🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 217 days until a rectal polyp with many vendettas, zero regrets, is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 218 days until a shark jumping a shark tank full of shark-jumping sharks is inaugurated President of the US.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 219 days until a $4,000 haircut on a $2 head is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 220 days until a mass-extinction event with a flair for hairspray is inaugurated President of the United States🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 221 days until an unserialized AR15 emblazoned with a “COEXIST” bumper sticker is inaugurated President.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 224 days until a mountain leech with attachment issues is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 225 days until a distressingly moist flesh-tone Croc™ foam clog is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 226 days until “Sexbaby Silicone Realistic Mouth with Tongue and Teeth” is inaugurated President of the U.S.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 227 days until a lone flag-waving crab louse is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 228 days until two bald men fighting over a comb are inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 231 days until the least popular rat in the most expensive suit is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 232 days until a $700 smartphone posting a hysterical one-star review of 99-cent app is inaugurated President.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 233 days until a teratoma with gold filings and a 2-year degree from a for-profit “university” is inaugurated.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 234 days until a canary picking a fight with a mirror is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 238 days until a skyscraper full of dyspeptic wasps is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 239 days until a razor-studded Wiffle Bat™ is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 240 days until an orphaned refugee’s counterfeit lifejacket is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 241 days until a well-chewed tube sock dangling from a dog’s “exit poll” is inaugurated President of the U.S.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 242 days until a recalled men’s novelty thong is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 245 days until a pair of baby shoes (never worn) is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 246 days until a rusty door hinge taking the LSAT for the third time is inaugurated President of the U.S.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 247 days until a teddy bear soaked in kerosene is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 248 days until a web-aware bidet with a 212º pressure stream and zero security is inaugurated President.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 249 days until a syphilitic bear with a coat hanger is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 252 days until a payday loan lobbyist polishing an actual turd to a high-gloss finish is inaugurated President.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 253 days until a water-logged woodland porn stash is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 254 days until the sadness that engulfs us all is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 255 days until an expired artificial-butterscotch flavored condom is inaugurated President of the United States🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 256 days until a military-issue superglue suppository is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 259 days until a taco bowl pitched down a Chernobyl elevator shaft is inaugurated President of the U.S.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 260 days until a confident C-student mis-explaining the Dunning-Kruger Effect is inaugurated President. 🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 261 days until a yacht crafted from the unshorn fingernails of the dead is inaugurated President of the U.S.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 261 until Inauguration Day 2017 🇺🇸 [img link] (Is that “Comeback” Cruz in the lower right corner‽) |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 262 days until a 90kg Super Snack Pack™ of weaponized cupidity is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 263 days until a toddler-sized flak jacket is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸#toosoonoon? |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 266 days until a loyalty oath hastily scrawled on a BARELY LEGAL subscription card is inaugurated President.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 267 days until a dank weasel cornholing 5 grams of bath salts is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 268 days until a deeply discounted pair of Harbor Freight testicle pliers is inaugurated President of the U.S.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 269 days until a Sanrio-licensed Hello Kitty suicide vest is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 270 days until a mouthful of broken glass is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 274 days until a sack of dicks—actual severed dicks, one sackful—is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 275 days until a loaded high-capacity clip in a church collection plate is inaugurated President of the U.S.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 276 days until a rectal wart squinting at a blurry teleprompter is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 277 days until a sticky Halloween mask labelled “EXHIBIT L” is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 280 days until an enterprise-level genital chancre is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 281 days until a substitute schoolbus driver extracted from a clogged sewer main is inaugurated President.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 282 days until a medically induced urethral prolapse is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 283 days until every sentence beginning “Not to sound racist, but…” is inaugurated President of the U.S. 🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 284 days until a napalm-soaked tampon is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 287 days until a water-stained copy of OBTUSE SEXUAL DEVIANCE FOR DUMMIES is inaugurated President of the U.S.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 288 days until an entrepreneur hoarding deck chairs on the Titanic is inaugurated President of the U.S.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 289 days until a blood-drenched baby shoe embedded on a truck grill is inaugurated President of the U.S.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 290 days until a mellon left in the trunk of a Georgia Rent-a-Car is inaugurated President of the United States🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 291 days until the neverending mantrum is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 294 days until a boot stamping on a human face, forever, is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 295 days until a high-tension garage door spring with serious structural flaws is inaugurated President.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 296 days until a plastic fire in a church parking lot is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 297 days until a loving tribute to caustic enemas is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 298 days until a high-deductible coat-hanger abortion is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 301 days until a partial transcript of a Kanye West drunk-dial is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 302 days until a dumpster full of untested rape kits is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 303 days until like Über—but for non-consensual medical experiments!—is inaugurated President of the U.S. 🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 304 days until a moist toilette stuck to a diaper-pail lid is inaugurated President of the United States. 🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 305 days until a slow-simmering case of genital impetigo is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 308 days until a class-2 tire fire is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 309 days until a UL-listed rectal switchblade is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 310 days until a family-friendly reenactment of Kristallnacht is inaugurated President of the United States.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 311 days until a rancid tub of cottage cheese and vipers is inaugurated President of the United States. 🇺🇸 🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 312 days until an impeccably crafted Bangladeshi-made “WHITE POWER” t-shirt is inaugurated President of the US🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 315 days until three kids in a trenchcoat sewn from the hides of three weaker kids is inaugurated President. 🇺🇸 🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 316 days until a crippled squirrel lodged in the engine of an overbooked 747 is inaugurated President. 🇺🇸 🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 317 days until a strip of steel-belted radial slowly roasting on an untended BBQ is inaugurated President.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 318 days until a mouse stuck in a Drāno bottle is inaugurated President of the United States. 🇺🇸 🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 319 days until a damp obstetrics table in an expired u-store-it unit is inaugurated President of the U.S.🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 322 days until a life-size butter sculpture of poor impulse control is inaugurated President of the U.S. 🇺🇸🔥 |
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David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) Hard to believe it’s just 323 days until an ice cream cone dropped into an open cadaver is inaugurated President of the United States. 🇺🇸🔥 |
Hard to believe it’s just 324 days until a loaded gun left on the floor of an unlicensed daycare is inaugurated President of the U.S. 🇺🇸🔥🔫
Hard to believe it’s just 325 days until a late-1970s Cult Mass Suicide Event is inaugurated President of the United States. 🇺🇸🔥
(no 326)
Hard to believe there’s just 327 days until the Grand Toupee of the KKK is sworn in as President if the United States.