{"id":1719,"date":"2017-12-22T15:43:41","date_gmt":"2017-12-22T20:43:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/?p=1719"},"modified":"2017-12-22T15:43:41","modified_gmt":"2017-12-22T20:43:41","slug":"buried-lede-alert-japanese-monkeys-ride-deer-like-ponies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/2017\/12\/buried-lede-alert-japanese-monkeys-ride-deer-like-ponies\/","title":{"rendered":"BURIED LEDE ALERT: Japanese monkeys ride deer like ponies?!?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>You&#8217;ve no doubt already seen a news item about\u00a0those Japanese teen-nympho\u00a0sex monkeys rubbing up on adult male deer:<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/H3H-886XkN4\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><em><small>(<strong>Aside<\/strong>: Is anyone else weirded out that they always look at the camera? That doesn&#8217;t seem like happenstance. Like\u2026 is it\u2026 is it part of the kink for them? &#8217;cause that makes me sorta feel\u2026 like, I don&#8217;t want to be made a part of this without my consent. That&#8217;s all I&#8217;m saying. I do not consent to this.)<\/small><\/em><\/p>\n<p>But check this\u00a0parenthetical toss-off from the first\u2014and least sensationalistic\u2014mainstream article covering this phenomenon:\u00a0&#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.npr.org\/sections\/thetwo-way\/2017\/12\/15\/571175252\/scientists-say-japanese-monkeys-are-having-sexual-interactions-with-deer\">Scientists Say Japanese Monkeys Are Having &#8216;Sexual Interactions&#8217; With Deer<\/a>&#8221;\u00a0(Thanks, NPR!)<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Japanese macaques are known to ride deer like humans ride horses, for fun or transportation \u2014 behavior the deer seem to tolerate in exchange for grooming and discarded food.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>So, just an FYI: Japanese monkeys are in the midst of domesticating deer\u2014you know, for fun, or transportation, or (as we did before them) to increase their travel range and capacity to haul loads.\u00a0 Loads, like, I dunno, the lifeless bodies of the defenseless denizens of Tokyo, after marauding teen-nympho sex monkeys start raiding\u00a0that once grand metropolis, charging in under cover of night astride their deer consorts, cutting us down, <em>smashing our skulls, <strong>and feasting on the goo within!!!\u00a0 IT&#8217;S IN REVELATIONS, PEOPLE!!!<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p>Anyway, point being they&#8217;re are only two ways this story ends, and neither of them is good.\u00a0Our future is either this:<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/DruCG3LJiiU\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>or this:<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/yOeUXEpxzcc\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>2017 has indeed been a rough year.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You&#8217;ve no doubt already seen a news item about\u00a0those Japanese teen-nympho\u00a0sex monkeys rubbing up on adult male deer: (Aside: Is anyone else weirded out that they always look at the camera? That doesn&#8217;t seem like happenstance. Like\u2026 is it\u2026 is it part of the kink for them? &#8217;cause that makes me sorta feel\u2026 like, I &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/2017\/12\/buried-lede-alert-japanese-monkeys-ride-deer-like-ponies\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;BURIED LEDE ALERT: Japanese monkeys ride deer like ponies?!?&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_share_on_mastodon":"1"},"categories":[11,3],"tags":[241,244,77,71,30,243,242,79,44,41],"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1719"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1719"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1719\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1721,"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1719\/revisions\/1721"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1719"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1719"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1719"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}