{"id":1933,"date":"2018-06-21T10:05:12","date_gmt":"2018-06-21T14:05:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/?p=1933"},"modified":"2020-01-14T20:15:59","modified_gmt":"2020-01-15T01:15:59","slug":"rewrite-what-annoys-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/2018\/06\/rewrite-what-annoys-you\/","title":{"rendered":"Writer Advice: Rewrite What Annoys You"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>At its core, this writer advice is a variation of the One True and Eternal Law:<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em><strong>Always take the path that leads to writing and editing more<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p>This should be painfully obvious\u2014wanna swim faster? <em>swim more!<\/em> wanna play piano better?\u00a0<em>play piano more! <\/em>wanna draw better? <em>draw more!<\/em><\/p>\n<p>In truth, the secret isn&#8217;t the <em><strong>strategy<\/strong><\/em> (&#8220;write more!&#8221;); that&#8217;s self-evident. The tricks are the <em><strong>tactics<\/strong><\/em> that folks who excel use to make it a tad easier to get their shoulders to the wheel.\u00a0 Wanna write more? Here&#8217;s a tactic\u2026<\/p>\n<h2>Advice for Writers: Use Annoyance to Fuel More Scribbling<\/h2>\n<p class=\"p1\">It is very common for artists to spend a lot of time annoyed: You love a thing so much that you want to create more of that thing, and thus invest a lot of energy in honing skills at creating that thing.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Meanwhile, since you love the thing, you keep seeking the thing out. As your skills improve\u2014and noting the immutability of <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Sturgeon%27s_law\">Sturgeon&#8217;s Law<\/a>\u2014you&#8217;re bound to come across plenty of examples of imperfect executions of that thing you live.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Profound, near-constant annoyance is the natural consequence of this.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">You can do two things with that annoyance:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li class=\"p1\">You can kvetch about it (e.g., preaching to your choir on social media)<\/li>\n<li class=\"p1\">You can rewrite it the way you would have written it (i.e., the Right Way, Dammit!<span class=\"s1\">&#x2122;<\/span>)<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>PRO-TIP<\/b>: Almost every working artist I&#8217;ve asked about this has landed squarely in Group #2.<\/p>\n<h2>Advice in Action: Fixing a Broken <em>SNL<\/em> Skit<\/h2>\n<p class=\"p1\">Consider this SNL skit\u2014which comes very, very close to being The Best <i>Twilight Zone<\/i> Episode Never Written:<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/UHml_J1PN9Y\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">This piece could be great, but it falls flat and is unsatisfying. Why? What went wrong?<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">The problem is in the Resolution (that\u2019s the final 10% of the piece \u2014 for an overview of my 45\/45\/10 Formula for narrative, check out <a href=\"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/2014\/11\/write-better-watch-penn-teller-saw-your-cognitive-load-in-half-writing\/\">this blog post<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/2018\/06\/joyner-lucass-im-not-racist-a-perfect-musical-example-of-the-454510-formula\/\">this one<\/a>). In any piece the Setup creates series of \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Open_loop\">open loops<\/a>\u201c that need to be closed in the Resolution in order for the piece to feel satisfied. The open loops here include <b>social isolation<\/b> (which is introduced by Danny almost from go, and keyed to his goofy dream of singing his \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/%22I_Want%22_song\">I wish<\/a>\u201d songs with friends), a <b>Twilight Zone leitmotif<\/b> (evoked by the musical cues, camera work, and acting style, especially with He-Man and Lion-o), and also elements of <b>sexual frustration<\/b>.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>This last item is lightly implied by mother&#8217;s nap, but really explicitly introduced by He-Man\u2014and this is crucial\u2014at around the 2min10sec mark, when he punches through a wall out of sexual frustration.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The 2:10 mark puts this bit of stage business at about 45% of the way through the piece, where it naturally transitions from the Setup to the Tangle (no clue what these terms mean?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Check <a href=\"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/2018\/06\/joyner-lucass-im-not-racist-a-perfect-musical-example-of-the-454510-formula\/\">the bulleted 45\/45\/10 Formula overview here<\/a>).<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Given both the timing in the narrative and the drama of having a character punch through wall out of sexual frustration, you&#8217;re making this issue seem really, really important.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">And then you introduced She-Ra\u2014already a sorta-kinda sexually charged nostalgia callback\u2014being played by Arianna Grande.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">So, to recap, here are the unresolved open loops:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li class=\"p1\">Social Isolation<\/li>\n<li class=\"p1\">Singing\/Music<\/li>\n<li class=\"p1\">Sexual Frustration<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p class=\"p1\">And we&#8217;ve just brought Arianna Grande onstage: a very gregarious and sexually attractive young woman with a stunning singing voice.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The audience is gonna have certain sorta obvious expectations of the basic outline of how these loops should be Resolved.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">So let&#8217;s look at the Resolution:<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span><b>Sexual frustration <\/b>is sorta addressed (but not for the primary character, just for side-characters mom, Lion-o, and He-Man). But, <b>social isolation<\/b> and the <b>Twilight Zone aesthetic<\/b> go entirely unaddressed. Watch that final scene again: It seems almost like the <i>actor<\/i> is expressing his frustration at the skit more than Danny is expressing his frustration at the fictional situation.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">As an audience member, I&#8217;m kinda let down.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>As a writer, I&#8217;m almost fatally annoyed <i>because they were <\/i><b><i>so<\/i><\/b><i> close to <\/i><b><i>knocking<\/i><\/b><i> this <\/i><b><i>out of the damned park!<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">How would I fix it? It\u2019s so simple: First, keep the Setup unchanged (that&#8217;s the first two minutes or so).<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>It&#8217;s a fine Setup, really. In the Tangle (that&#8217;s the next two-ish minutes), I would keep almost everything the same as well, but would strike the birthday hug gag between Danny and She-ra. (Don&#8217;t worry; we are still going to use this gag, just later, to close the skit.)<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Let&#8217;s run through what we&#8217;ve got now: Same Setup (with <i>Twilight Zone<\/i> look-n-feel and Danny&#8217;s social isolation). We introduce sexual frustration. He-Man busts through the wall after Sister. He brings back She-ra. The three toys-come-alive all start trashing the joint. Mom comes in, chemistry sparks with her and the hunks. Those three leave for the hot tub. <i>Now<\/i> Danny asks She-ra for his birthday hug. We keep She-ra&#8217;s reply as written\u2014she doesn\u2019t like hugs; she likes to <i>smash!<\/i>\u2014and Danny announces: \u201cWell, <i>I<\/i> like singing songs with my friends\u2014even if that means singing by myself!\u201d Unashamed, he begins belting out his \u201cI wish\u201d song. She-ra (who, you&#8217;ll recall, is being played by a goddamned operatic pop star) is taken by Danny&#8217;s heartfelt song; she\u2019s a warrior princess, and has never before heard the beauty of song. She begins to sing along with him\u2014and then returns to smashing, never flagging in her song. Danny, thrilled to have a friend, keeps singing and <i>he <\/i>starts smashing the joint up, too.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">The camera pulls back, swivels, and reveals a black-&amp;-white Rod Serling impersonator (everything else is still in color). Cue <i>Twilight Zone<\/i> bongos.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Rod Serling looks dead into the camera, puffs cigarette, and delivers a <i>Twilight Zone-style<\/i> summary outro:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"p1\">&#8220;A lonely young boy.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>A savage warrior princess.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>An unlikely birthday wish\u2014and an unlikely duet that could only happen \u2026 in mom&#8217;s hot tub&#8221;\u2014Serling stomps out his cigarette and races out the door to join the hot tub orgy.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p class=\"p1\"><b><i>Boom<\/i><\/b>.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span><i>That&#8217;s<\/i> the skit this skit clearly wants to be.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>At its core, this writer advice is a variation of the One True and Eternal Law: Always take the path that leads to writing and editing more This should be painfully obvious\u2014wanna swim faster? swim more! wanna play piano better?\u00a0play piano more! wanna draw better? draw more! In truth, the secret isn&#8217;t the strategy (&#8220;write &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/2018\/06\/rewrite-what-annoys-you\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Writer Advice: Rewrite What Annoys You&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_share_on_mastodon":"1"},"categories":[11,6,8,3],"tags":[325,327,113,52,63,107,26,55,329,44,328,326,250,456,25],"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1933"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1933"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1933\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2273,"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1933\/revisions\/2273"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1933"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1933"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1933"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}