{"id":639,"date":"2016-06-06T10:15:34","date_gmt":"2016-06-06T14:15:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/?p=639"},"modified":"2016-06-08T16:13:17","modified_gmt":"2016-06-08T20:13:17","slug":"gaaaaaah-gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah-nsfw","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/2016\/06\/gaaaaaah-gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah-nsfw\/","title":{"rendered":"Gaaaaaah! #Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah #NSFW :(  *UPDATED!!!*"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><strong>Hey gents<\/strong>: Ever wanted to do sex stuff to a cannibal ghost&#8217;s face? Well, guess what? <i>NOW YOU CAN!<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_640\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-640\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"wp-image-640 size-medium\" src=\"http:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/61grjqHmU-L._SL1001_-300x300.jpg\" alt=\"61grjqHmU-L._SL1001_\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/61grjqHmU-L._SL1001_-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/61grjqHmU-L._SL1001_-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/61grjqHmU-L._SL1001_-768x768.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/61grjqHmU-L._SL1001_.jpg 1001w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 85vw, 300px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-640\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">gaaaaaah!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">I don&#8217;t wanna come off as a prude or anything, but I think that there&#8217;s maybe absolutely nothing <strong><em>not<\/em><\/strong> wrong with this, from it&#8217;s name\u2014which starts with &#8220;<em>sexbaby<\/em>&#8220;(!!!), and then somehow manages to get <i>worse\u2014<\/i>to the use of colors and shapes, to the reviews, distressingly low price, and the fact that this is in stock and &#8220;Fulfilled by Amazon&#8221; (thus conjuring the image of untold ranks of shelves in a Tennessee warehouse, holding uncountable numbers of cartons, each containing boxes upon boxes of individually packaged artificial ghostbaby sexmaws. \u00a0With teeth.)<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">I present to you the &#8220;<strong><a href=\"http:\/\/amzn.to\/1TNE4oz\">Sexbaby Silicone Realistic Mouth with Tongue and Teeth<\/a><\/strong>&#8220;<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><i>&#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/amzn.to\/1TNE4oz\">Sexbaby Silicone Realistic Mouth with Tongue and Teeth<\/a>&#8220;<\/i>?!?<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">&#8220;Sexbaby silicone realistic mouth with tongue and teeth.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><em>Sexbaby<\/em><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><em>silicone<\/em> and\u00a0<em>realistic<\/em><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><strong><em>tongue and teeth<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><b>\ud83d\ude41<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><!--more-->And, yeah, you&#8217;re damn right I used my Amazon Affiliate Link there, &#8217;cause as weird as this product makes me feel, you bet your ass I&#8217;m willing to scrape a dime off your weird sex thing.\u00a0 This is still America, folks.\u00a0 This is still the 21st Century, God bless her!<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><strong>UPDATE<\/strong>:<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Oh my <em>Yikes!<\/em>, there&#8217;s a video:<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/8-3AT4d0OWA\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>Welcome to the Uncanny Valley; please enjoy the manifold horrors of this psycho-sexual hellscape.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hey gents: Ever wanted to do sex stuff to a cannibal ghost&#8217;s face? Well, guess what? NOW YOU CAN! I don&#8217;t wanna come off as a prude or anything, but I think that there&#8217;s maybe absolutely nothing not wrong with this, from it&#8217;s name\u2014which starts with &#8220;sexbaby&#8220;(!!!), and then somehow manages to get worse\u2014to the &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/2016\/06\/gaaaaaah-gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah-nsfw\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Gaaaaaah! #Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah #NSFW \ud83d\ude41  *UPDATED!!!*&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_share_on_mastodon":"1"},"categories":[11],"tags":[33,45,30,44,43,31],"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/639"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=639"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/639\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":650,"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/639\/revisions\/650"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=639"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=639"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=639"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}