{"id":795,"date":"2016-08-18T12:05:10","date_gmt":"2016-08-18T16:05:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/?p=795"},"modified":"2016-09-14T11:41:00","modified_gmt":"2016-09-14T15:41:00","slug":"my-dog-is-full-of-masses","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/2016\/08\/my-dog-is-full-of-masses\/","title":{"rendered":"My Dog is Full of &#8220;Masses&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>This lil mutherfucker is Lunchbox:<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_794\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-794\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/DSCF3180.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"wp-image-794 size-medium\" src=\"http:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/DSCF3180-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"His baleful eyes flashin' like the fires o' Hell!\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/DSCF3180-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/DSCF3180.jpg 640w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 85vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-794\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">His baleful eyes flashin&#8217; like the fires o&#8217; Hell!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>The vet&#8217;s records say Lunchbox is 13-years-old, but that&#8217;s not true. \u00a0We&#8217;ve\u00a0<em>had<\/em> him for 13 years, but he was full grown when we got him from the rescue. We <em>thought<\/em> he was a puppy\u2014and he was marketed as such\u2014but as\u00a0he failed to grow any bigger, or loose any &#8220;baby&#8221; teeth,\u00a0or need to be\u00a0housebroken, it slowly dawned on us that he wasn&#8217;t a puppy, he was just a small dog some dipshit didn&#8217;t want.<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, on Friday he really wasn&#8217;t feeling well.<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-lang=\"en\">\n<p dir=\"ltr\" lang=\"en\">It&#8217;s hot out. We have no AC. Our ancient poodle is sleeping on a cold pack from the freezer. <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/hashtag\/pureMichigan?src=hash\">#pureMichigan<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/t.co\/RijlkMeZ9H\">pic.twitter.com\/RijlkMeZ9H<\/a><\/p>\n<p>\u2014 David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/SquiDaveo\/status\/764161539452665856\">August 12, 2016<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><script src=\"\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" async=\"\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p>We figured it was the heat; we live in Michigan,\u00a0it had been 90 for a week, we have no AC\u2014it was miserable. \u00a0He mostly just moped around that week, looking at us with utter disgust at our inability to make the house work properly. \u00a0By the weekend, he was lying on the hardwood floor in front of a fan, only going outside to potty when coaxed (or, on several occasions, carried).<\/p>\n<p>Then the heat broke, but he felt no better. \u00a0He was very listless, and seemed confused. \u00a0He\u00a0was having trouble standing up, and trouble navigating the steps, not that he couldn&#8217;t\u2014he could be coaxed up with treats\u2014but more like he couldn&#8217;t quite understand how steps\u00a0worked.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_793\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-793\" style=\"width: 285px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"wp-image-793 size-medium\" src=\"http:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/DSCF0114-285x300.jpg\" alt=\"Charming young Lunchbox\" width=\"285\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/DSCF0114-285x300.jpg 285w, https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/DSCF0114.jpg 593w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 285px) 85vw, 285px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-793\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Charming young Lunchbox<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>This all seemed <em>Really\u00a0Bad<\/em>, so I\u00a0took him to the vet Monday. \u00a0It turns out that\u00a0he&#8217;s full of &#8220;masses&#8221; that are almost certainly tumors. \u00a0One (are several)\u00a0inside the membrane that surrounds his heart, and another maybe on his liver or spleen\u2014which is in line with some elevated something-something\u00a0levels\u00a0in his blood (he had a lot of tests, and I was having trouble following, because the vet\u2014who was a very nice, small young woman\u2014was so obviously absolutely miserable to have to be telling me any of this). \u00a0As a consequence of the tumors (and possibly the heat, and likely a variety of lingering infections permitted to slowly simmer in his failing, mass-ridden system), his pancreas had swollen enormously, and was smooshing his organs and distending his belly and generally making him miserable as fuck. \u00a0Also, it was making it really hard to tell in the x-rays what masses in his guts were attached to what, and how severe they may be.<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-lang=\"en\"><p>\nI just had to give my ID to the pharmacist to get dope for my dog. <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/hashtag\/sighs?src=hash\">#sighs<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/hashtag\/America?src=hash\">#America<\/a><\/p>\n<p>\u2014 David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/SquiDaveo\/status\/765638560582144000\">August 16, 2016<\/a>\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><script src=\"\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" async=\"\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><br \/>\nThe upshot is that Lunchbox\u00a0probably has 6 months to live, maybe a year, maybe less. \u00a0The vet sold me anti-emetics and antibiotics, and\u00a0instructed me to shift him to a very low-fat diet\u2014which, absolutely no joke, is\u00a0<em><strong>my<\/strong><\/em> diet: Cheap-ass, low-fat beef\/chicken over steamed brown rice. \u00a0I also had to pick him up a &#8216;scrip for controlled narcotics.<\/p>\n<p>At the human pharmacy.<\/p>\n<p>For my dog.<\/p>\n<p>My dog is on dope. \u00a0His name is on the bottle and everything: \u00a0&#8220;<code>Lunchbox Spindler<\/code><em>.<\/em>&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>This is the face of the Midwestern opioid epidemic <strong><em>#America<\/em><\/strong>:<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_797\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-797\" style=\"width: 225px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"wp-image-797 size-medium\" src=\"http:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/2016-08-03-22.18.24-e1471483386817-225x300.jpg\" alt=\"One charming old mofo\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/2016-08-03-22.18.24-e1471483386817-225x300.jpg 225w, https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/2016-08-03-22.18.24-e1471483386817-768x1024.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/2016-08-03-22.18.24-e1471483386817.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 225px) 85vw, 225px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-797\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">One charming old mofo<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>It&#8217;s now two\u00a0days later, and he&#8217;s absolutely and 100% back to being his old self\u2014mostly due to the anti-emetics (which killed his nausea, restoring his appetite) and antibiotics (which are bringing down the most obvious belly-distention), but infinitely bolstered by\u00a0the fact that he&#8217;s absolutely elated to be on my diet.<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>From his perspective, this has all turned out terrific\u2014because he doesn&#8217;t know what the future is, and therefore doesn&#8217;t know that he&#8217;s mostly dead.<\/em> \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t know if that means he&#8217;s an idiot or a fucking zen master. \u00a0I guess, all things being equal, I hope that I can begin to emulate his comportment in the face of death.<\/p>\n<p>When I first started trying to find a way to talk about all this, I&#8217;d imagined I&#8217;d follow that bold-italics bit above with something like <strong><em>&#8220;I guess that means God is not a total dick sometimes.&#8221;<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>But then I realized: Lunchbox is\u00a0a dog. God didn&#8217;t make dogs; <em>we<\/em> did. \u00a0They are our first, grandest\u00a0experiment in Genetically Modified Organisms, now in it&#8217;s 15,000-ish year. <em>We<\/em> are their God, and <em>we<\/em> made them in <em>our<\/em> image\u2014or at least the best parts of it: We took wolves and foxes and selectively bred them until they became beasts mostly composed of love and loyalty, forever content, forever in the Now, perhaps somewhat easily <em>Scared<\/em>, but not cursed with <em>Fear<\/em>, because they aren&#8217;t cursed with thinking they have any fucking clue <em>What Comes Next<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>The Rabbi Jesus might have urged all-y&#8217;all\u00a0to\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Matthew_6:28\">consider the lilies of the field\u00a0and\u00a0how they grow, neither\u00a0toiling nor\u00a0spinning<\/a>, but I couldn&#8217;t tell a fucking lily from a mayapple or crocus or onion plant. \u00a0Fuck lilies. \u00a0As far as I&#8217;m concerned,\u00a0consider the dog, how he loves, how he trusts that things will sort out OK, and\u00a0food will come, and rest will come, and warmth will come, and affection will come. He doesn&#8217;t toil, he doesn&#8217;t fret, and yet he does OK, all things considered.<\/p>\n<p>Amen.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p><strong>UPDATE September 10, 2016<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-lang=\"en\">\n<p dir=\"ltr\" lang=\"en\">Bad day. \u2639\ufe0f<br \/>\nZ&#8221;l <a href=\"https:\/\/t.co\/pJZJiLsZrh\">pic.twitter.com\/pJZJiLsZrh<\/a><\/p>\n<p>\u2014 David Erik Nelson (@SquiDaveo) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/SquiDaveo\/status\/774642103985049600\">September 10, 2016<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><script src=\"\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" async=\"\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This lil mutherfucker is Lunchbox: The vet&#8217;s records say Lunchbox is 13-years-old, but that&#8217;s not true. \u00a0We&#8217;ve\u00a0had him for 13 years, but he was full grown when we got him from the rescue. We thought he was a puppy\u2014and he was marketed as such\u2014but as\u00a0he failed to grow any bigger, or loose any &#8220;baby&#8221; teeth,\u00a0or &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/2016\/08\/my-dog-is-full-of-masses\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;My Dog is Full of &#8220;Masses&#8221;&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_share_on_mastodon":"1"},"categories":[11],"tags":[33,36,43,31],"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/795"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=795"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/795\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":848,"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/795\/revisions\/848"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=795"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=795"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.davideriknelson.com\/sbsb\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=795"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}