Noam Chomsky and a “Journalist” Walk into a Bar . . .

I continue to write a monthly column for the Ann Arbor Chronicle. In a bit of a departure from my normal tedious exegeses of gun statistics and local bridge policy, this latest column is based on a conversation I had with Noam Chomsky in early July. It begins something like this:

I’m interviewing Noam Chomsky in the bar of the Campus Inn a block from the University of Michigan campus in Ann Arbor, Michigan. The bar is dim and entirely abandoned at 10 a.m. on a Friday morning. Because I’m highly distractible, I can’t help but periodically marvel at the symmetry of this: I only ended up interviewing Noam Chomsky at all because I’d Tweeted a link to a joke about Heisenberg, Gödel, and Chomsky walking into a bar [1], and Dave Askins (editor of this fine publication) had responded by noting that Chomsky would be speaking at the University of Michigan a week or so later, and essentially dared me to interview him.

I’d agreed, on the assumption that it would be impossible to land an interview with the man almost universally regarded as America’s foremost public intellectual. I was wrong [ . . . ]

. . . and goes downhill from there. Enjoy!

(For those more interested in Chomsky and less in my chatter, you can read the unedited transcript of the interview or listen to all 48 minutes of the audio.)

Linguistics Krazy Korner: “Lion-Eating Poet in the Stone Den”

“The Lion-Eating Poet in the Stone Den” is a 92-character modern poem written in Classical Chinese by Yuen Ren Chao, in which every syllable has the sound shi (in different tones) when read in modern Mandarin Chinese. [Lion-Eating Poet in the Stone Den – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia]

In other words, the following series of sushes is this poem:

In a stone den was a poet called Shi, who was a lion addict, and had resolved to eat ten lions.
He often went to the market to look for lions.
At ten o’clock, ten lions had just arrived at the market.
At that time, Shi had just arrived at the market.
He saw those ten lions, and using his trusty arrows, caused the ten lions to die.
He brought the corpses of the ten lions to the stone den.
The stone den was damp. He asked his servants to wipe it.
After the stone den was wiped, he tried to eat those ten lions.
When he ate, he realized that these ten lions were in fact ten stone lion corpses.
Try to explain this matter.


Man, now I’m mad-crazy craving stone-lion sushi . . .

Continue reading “Linguistics Krazy Korner: “Lion-Eating Poet in the Stone Den””

“Being Art Isn’t a Property of a Thing, but a Property of How We Perceive that Thing” — Vi Hart

Twelve Tones – YouTube

This video is ostensibly about twelve-tone composition techniques–but do not let a disinterest in “experimental” music cause you to miss out.
First off, the music Vi tosses off to illustrate her points is so hauntingly beautiful it’s just about crippling. This arrangement of “Mary Had a Little Lamb” (explored at length around the 21min mark) is so beautiful it makes me ache. I love it, without irony or snark. I just *love* it, love how the sound of the 12-tone recombination has guided the dark and tortuous new text.
But, although that’s the focus of the video, this talk (recitation? recital? lecture? demo? “vlog”?) is really about creativity and the rudimentary mechanics of artistic craft (both for the nominal creator and nominal audience), as well as the concreteness of artistic “abstraction” and the fucktardity of current US copyright law[*].
This video is incredible and wonderful; it’s worth your 30-minutes, especially if you aspire to *any* creative endeavor.
*thx for the tip @logista!*

Continue reading ““Being Art Isn’t a Property of a Thing, but a Property of How We Perceive that Thing” — Vi Hart”

The US-Canada Border: Signifiers and Signified, Precision and Accuracy, Errors All the Way Down

OK, this video makes no direct mention of the things it makes me think about—nonetheless, it’s neat unto itself and worth your time.
But what it gets me thinking about is the difference between being “accurate” (i.e., mating the objectively observable world) and “precise” (i.e., being broken into suitably small gradations for the work at hand)—because this is a story about both human failures in accuracy and precision. And, to the degree this is about politics (which is usually how the US-Canada No Touching Zone is presented; this is the third or fourth time this has come up for me [DISCLOSURE: I’m from and reside in Michigan]), it’s about how quickly humans begin to fully and deeply conflate the signifier (the word, the map, the photo) with the signified (the notions these hashes and squiggles imply, the *actual* land you’re standing on, your *actual* living-breathing child). It also makes you think about all the kinds of *errors* there are out there, beyond simple fat-fingering and typos. I mean true, legit errors in how we compartmentalize things in our damn little monkey brains.
Canada & The United States: Bizarre Borders Part 2 – YouTube

Jim Crace’s Harvest, John Scalzi’s Old Man’s War, the Hooptie-Jaguar Continuum, Moral Fiction, Grammarly, & Disclosures

(Disclosure: The publisher sent me a review copy of HARVEST because I *loved* Crace’s THE PESTHOUSE so much. HARVEST didn’t hit me nearly so squarely as PESTHOUSE–largely because of my inborn anti-Anglophilia bias–but is still a great read. Slow, yes, but tense and engaging. The language is taut, and the progress as steady and terrifying as watching those videos of the 2011 tsunami rolling into Fukushima.)

So, let’s broadly assume that a car more or less has two systems: The go-parts (engine, brakes, transmission, etc.) and the looky-parts (body shape, paint job, seats, handling, etc.) An ugly ass car with a solid engine–i.e., a “hooptie”– will get you places. You might be embarrassed to be seen in it, but it gets the job done, and in a pinch you are *always* grateful for the solid lil mule. A beautiful car with nothing reliable inside–e.g., my dad’s much mourned late-60s British-racing-green Jaguar–is lovely to look at, but frustrates you into rage when you actually try to get anything done.

In terms of books, something like HUNGER GAMES is a hooptie: It’s a chugging little story held together by duct tape, rust, wire coat hangers, and your inability to afford something better. A lot of the more literary-influenced speculative fiction that’s hot right now (Kameron Hurley’s GOD’S WAR, for example) is on the other end: Wonderful language, evocative worlds, interesting conceits, but 100 pages in I still can’t figure out where the hell I’m going–or if the car’s even moving. I mean, I sorta don’t care, ’cause it feels pretty rad to just *sit* in a ’60s Jaguar, but that’s the thing: You’re stuck just sitting in it. (FYI, I’m 90% sure I’ve swiped this car metaphor from Joe Hill, or maybe from his dad, or maybe even both of them on separate occasions. I’m the GONE IN 60 SECONDS of concept-plagiarism!)

Crace’s HARVEST is right in the middle–despite being pretty deep into the “literary” end of the spectrum. The language is restrained and lyric, the characters deep without being ponderous, the conceit interesting but simple–meanwhile, the story actually moves forward with grace and momentum. I never found myself up til 2am still turning pages (as I regularly do with our Lord and Savior, Stephen King–and did with Crace’s PESTHOUSE), but I was also never tempted to abandon the book. Even when I was called away for a few days (I’ve got a toddler who frequently sucks at sleeping), I was always able to drop right back into the story and characters, and glad to do so.

Like PESTHOUSE, this novel is *also* a post-apocalypse novel, just one that happens to be set in the historically accurate past. A few weeks back a filmmaking/photographing pal of mine wondered aloud (via Twitter) if rubble was *mandatory* to post-apocalyptic dystopias (subtly bemoaning, I think, the aesthetic stagnation in this vein of storytelling). Fortunately, I can point her to HARVEST, where Crace gives us a model of a dystopian future that isn’t rooted in Rust Belt Detroit rubble, or even in the future. The world, it seems, has already ended over and over and over again.

HARVEST is a workmanlike novel, and I say that with admiration–and the suspicion that, considering the topic and central ideas, this was a conscious choice, to craft a novel that is solid and reliable and workmanlike, as opposed to one which soars. That capacity to show the restraint due your subjects tips us off to how accomplished and masterly Crace is. All of which is to say that this book is, in a way, a sort of literary pool sharking. *Damn!* Mutherfucker played us for fools all along!

Carrying forward with our discussion of the “hooptie-Jaguar continuum” (i.e., poorly written tales with great engines vs. beautifully crafted tales that don’t go anywhere), John Scalzi’s OLD MAN’S WAR is a bit to the hooptie end of things. This is by no means an insult, because the story has a great little mule of an engine–it had me up late reading on many nights. Heck, it’s even a fairly good looking hooptie: the prose itself is solid and stays out of the way. It’s a Good Book(TM).

That said, there is *a lot* crammed in there–seemingly every notion Scalzi had about war and age and distance and loss–and so the impact of any one of his really interesting, possibly intricate ideas is sorta lost in the roar (part of the reason that the novel is three-star, rather than four). The shoehorning bummed me out, since it meant that we raced right past a lot of stuff that I really wanted to explore–and that brings me around to the other reason I’ve low-starred a book that, honestly, I really, really enjoyed:
What the Hell is this book saying about war?

Just to clarify, it isn’t that this book is saying something about war that I disagree with; plenty of books and stories and films I’ve liked a lot argue for the nobility and necessity of Violence. Even when I find it disagreeable, I can always live with a well-formed claim, attractively presented. My beef here is that whatever Young Scalzi’s ideas of war were, they aren’t on the page in any coherent way.

Part of the problem is that this *really* seemed like it was building towards being a statement about the Arab-Israeli conflict. I know that might sound nuts, but it seemed far from accidental that the army in the novel is the is the CDF (or “Colonial Defense Forces”)–a pretty obvious analogue (in my eyes) to the real-world Israeli army (the one every Israeli, male and female, is conscripted into), which is the “IDF” (“Israeli Defense Force”). More to the point, the position of Scalzi’s earthlings–humans as an embattled minority that needs to hack out a foothold in the Universe by any means necessary–is precisely the founding principal of the State of Israel. It just seemed too obvious a match.
But Young Scalzi appears to have next to nothing to say about war–not in the Mid-East in the 20th/21stC, or anywhere else at any time.

Ultimately, the most the book might be said to claim is something like “war is really bad and wasteful, but we have no alternative,” and that strikes me as nothing more than the sort of weak “giving air time to both sides” BS we see when journalists let a climate scientist speak for 5 minutes, then let a denier speak for 5 minutes, and act like the preponderance of evidence *doesn’t* all fall to one side.

I’m not saying war is such a clear cut case. But I am saying that Scalzi fails to attempt to articulate a solid claim about the utility of war. You might counter that maybe Scalzi didn’t *want* to argue about war. Leaving aside the fundamental question (Why would you want to write a war book with “WAR” in the title and *not* argue about war?), my reply is this: It was Scalzi’s responsibility to tell us, his readers, something about war. *That’s* what this needed to be a 4-star book. Again, it didn’t need to say what *I* wanted said about war, it just had to say *something* about war. I *totally* disagree with what DIE HARD says about the Redemptive Power of Violence, but that’s easily a 4-star piece of storytelling.
Here’s the brass tacks: If you write, and if you write well, then your stories–not history, or statistics, or day-to-day observations–are going to constitute the bulk of what forms your fellow citizens’ worldviews. Regardless of what they say, very few men and women enlist because they want to uphold the Constitution; they enlist because of TOP GUN and SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, “Dulce et decorum est . . .” and all that jazz.
Scalzi–even the Young Scalzi that wrote this debut novel–is such an able storyteller, and has become over time such a Lion for Justice, that his fundamental mealy-mouthedness in OLD MAN’S WAR sorely disappointed me. In the end, saying nothing in this way is a form of cowardice. At best, then, OLD MAN’S WAR’s statement about war is sort of an implied meta-statement cribbed from Yeats’s “Second Coming”:

“The best lack all conviction, while the worst / Are full of passionate intensity.”

Interestingly, this failure to stake a moral claim seems to become more pronounced as you move toward the “hooptie” end of the Hooptie-Jaguar Continuum. HUNGER GAMES, for example, likewise seems untroubled by its disinterest in examining the presumably accidental irony of denouncing state-sponsored violence while glorifying the Personally Redemptive Power of Violence. It’s as though–as is so often the case with an actual automotive hooptie–that we get so wrapped up in keeping the car moving that we totally lose track of why we’re going where we’re going, and if going there is a good idea to begin with.

That said, OLD MAN’S WAR left me eager to read more of Scalzi, eager to see if he’s grown more bold in staking out moral territory in his fiction–’cause that is the real battleground, brothers and sisters. Just like every writer who came before you, your op-eds and blog posts and “statements of belief” and whatever will be lost to time; it’s only the stories that’ll last, so the stories are the places where you need to make your argument.

FYI: I used Grammarly to grammar check this post, because a pleasant young man flattered me, asked nicely, and offered me mild compensation in the form of an Amazon GC. Grammarly dinged me on 47(!!!) critical writing issues and gave me a failing grade (36 out of 100!) for this post. Check it out:

So, there’s your grains of salt. (In case it seems whack, the “Plagiarism” charge is reasonable, as this post draws heavily from two book reviews I previously published.)

Good Ole Violence, Always Here To Solve Our Problems #guns #risk

My latest column is up at the Chronicle–and, with any luck, will be my final column about guns and their control (a thoroughly exhausting topic). From here on out it’s nothing but puppies with lightsabers!
The Ann Arbor Chronicle | In It For The Money: Brawling About Guns

Maybe more to the point, I can have a deep and genuine affection for guns, and still believe that maybe it’s time that we get past our core American notion – one effectively enshrined in the Second Amendment – that violence is a valid and respectable solution to our problems.
We characterize “debate” as a rational process of sorting competing ideas, but it isn’t. In America, “debate” is just another word for “brawl.” No one learns a new point of view when they are jumped in an alley or hop into the monkey knife fighting pit; you show up with what you’ve got, and pound on each other until someone flees or collapses.
If you are about to take exception to this characterization, then riddle me this: If you are “rational” and “pro-gun control,” then why the hell aren’t you already familiar with the SCotUS 2007 opinions? Isn’t an understanding of the current state of the Second Amendment sorta-kinda vital to “debating” about the Second Amendment?
And if you “rationally support gun rights” – likely because of personal safety issues – then why aren’t you already concerned that guns appear to protect people once for every two times they hurt someone? Would you take meds your physician prescribed while noting nonchalantly, “Oh, FYI, if these pills do anything at all, there’s a 64% chance they’ll hurt or kill you, and an unknown – but very high – likelihood they’ll do nothing. But they might also save your life. Maybe. We haven’t really done the research on that. Make sure to drink plenty of fluids!”
. . .

If You Learn About Only One Bat-shit Crazy Thing Today, Make It Jeremy Bentham’s “Auto Icon”


Listen: The father of Utilitarianism had his skeleton preserved and dressed in his favorite suit, in order to preside over meetings after his demise. Bentham did this. Bentham, in many regard the ur-Rational Guy, the philosophical father of our post-modern avatar of Rational Behavior.
But the preservation method for Bentham’s head got screwed up, with monstrous results. It wound up looking like it was carved from meatloaf jerky, so they used a wax head instead, and positioned Jeremy Bentham’s actual severed head on the floor between the philosophy scarecrow’s feet–just because.
They (who? who knows?!) ultimately decided the severed head on the floor was either gruesome or an attractive nuisance, and so decided to store it in a box somewhere and replaced it with a replica, or sometimes nothing. Anyway, in the pic above, that’s Jeremy Bentham’s actual head on the floor, fronting all John the Baptist-post-Salome-style. Here’s a close up of the head–the actual head of an actual famous philosopher who had this done to himself on purpose:

So those creepy peepers? Bentham carried those around in his pocket for much of his life, so they could wind up in his severed jerky head and attend meetings for all eternity.
This . . . I . . . damn. I guess dude believed this bizarre gesture would somehow maximize humanity’s happiness and reduce suffering, although the mechanism for that escapes me.
In the end, though, I find the idea of those eyes staring at the inside of a dark box even *more* distressing than having them stare out a glass case from between Bentham’s feet. Even though he can’t see us, J.B. is still watching us, and likely finding us wanting. *shudders*
Jeremy Bentham – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Bentham died on 6 June 1832 the age of 84 at his residence in Queen Square Place in Westminster, London. He had continued to write up to a month before his death, and had made careful preparations for the dissection of his body after death and its preservation as an auto-icon. As early as 1769, when Bentham was just twenty-one years old, he made a will leaving his body for dissection to a family friend, the physician and chemist George Fordyce, whose daughter, Maria Sophia (1765–1858), married Jeremy’s brother Samuel Bentham.[18] A paper written in 1830, instructing Thomas Southwood Smith to create the auto-icon, was attached to his last will, dated 30 May 1832.[18]
On 8 June 1832, two days after his death, invitations were distributed to a select group of friends, and on the following day at 3 p.m., Southwood Smith delivered a lengthy oration over Bentham’s remains in the Webb Street School of Anatomy & Medicine in Southwark, London. The printed oration contains a frontispiece with an engraving of Bentham’s body partly covered by a sheet.[18]
Afterward, the skeleton and head were preserved and stored in a wooden cabinet called the “Auto-icon”, with the skeleton padded out with hay and dressed in Bentham’s clothes. Originally kept by his disciple Thomas Southwood Smith,[19] it was acquired by University College London in 1850. It is normally kept on public display at the end of the South Cloisters in the main building of the college; however, for the 100th and 150th anniversaries of the college, it was brought to the meeting of the College Council, where it was listed as “present but not voting”.[20]
Bentham had intended the Auto-icon to incorporate his actual head, mummified to resemble its appearance in life. However, Southwood Smith’s experimental efforts at mummification, based on practices of the indigenous people of New Zealand and involving placing the head under an air pump over sulphuric acid and simply drawing off the fluids, although technically successful, left the head looking distastefully macabre, with dried and darkened skin stretched tautly over the skull.[18] The Auto-icon was therefore given a wax head, fitted with some of Bentham’s own hair. The real head was displayed in the same case as the Auto-icon for many years, but became the target of repeated student pranks. It is now locked away securely.[21]

(see also: Jeremy Bentham’s Auto-Icon | Atlas Obscura)

Facebook Banned My Book–Have They Banned Yours?

Facebook has expunged the fan Page for Snip, Burn, Solder, Shred, basically without explanation, notice, or recourse.

On May 28 I happened to glance at Facebook and saw that I had a Notification that the fan Page for my geeky DIY book had been “unpublished” for “bullying.” There was a button to “Appeal” this decision, so I clicked it. Within a few hours my Page was expunged and my personal account was under a 12-hour ban from FB activity (even “Liking” friends’ posts). I received no notification of any of this through any channel, apart from the single Notification of the initial flagging (which has since disappeared). I only knew the Page was gone because I checked on it the next morning and it wasn’t there. (I’ve since tried contacting FB through their various “Contact Us” avenues, and have heard nothing.)
After some moderate persecution anxiety, I’d kinda settled into thinking that, in their enthusiasm to finally do something about their misogyny problem, an underpaid Facebook temp had fat-fingered a pull-down menu [1]. Besides, the Page wasn’t really a meaningful part of my business (most folks connect to my through twitter or over email), so I was gonna shrug it off as stressful annoyance.
Then a pal forwarded me this link:
Facebook unfriends The Aviator | The Burning World

Yesterday The Aviator‘s Facebook page disappeared. When I logged in to check the page I was greeted by a message that said the page was being removed because it had been identified as carrying material related to bullying. There was a button labelled “appeal”, so I pressed it. That’s all. No contact information, no detail of the complaint. Nothing. Except that I was also prevented from posting or sharing anything on Facebook for 12 hours. The page no longer exists, and I am annoyed. . . .

Turns out Gareth–a dude very much like me, albeit in New Zealand–had seemingly the *exact same* experience. So, has this happened to you or an author you know? Please feel free to drop me a line on Twitter or by email, and share this post far and wide (at your discretion). Thanks!

Continue reading “Facebook Banned My Book–Have They Banned Yours?”

History furnishes a brief video counter-argument to my recent “3D-Printed Plastic #Guns Are Malarky” streak

I’ve been pretty harsh on the breathless reporting and legislative freak-outs triggered (pun!) by DefDist’s most recent 3D-printing shenanigans (and other folks’ mods and improvements there-of; read my full thoughts here:Snip, Burn, Solder Blog: The “Liberator” 3D-Printed Plastic Pistol: A Thing You Don’t Have to Worry About #guns and here: Snip, Burn, Solder Blog: Mandatory Reading for Folks Excited about 3D Printing Who’ve Never *Used* a 3D Printer).
As an olive branch to the “technology always gets faster/cheaper/better” crowd, I offer this brief snippet of history[*] without further commentary:

News report from 1981 about the Internet. [VIDEO]
From the video’s closer: “It takes over two hours to receive the entire daily paper electronically, and at $5 per hour, it isn’t competition for the daily street edition.”

Continue reading “History furnishes a brief video counter-argument to my recent “3D-Printed Plastic #Guns Are Malarky” streak”

Mandatory Reading for Folks Excited about 3D Printing Who’ve Never *Used* a 3D Printer

I touched on this briefly when I wrote about DefDist’s 3D-printed plastic pistol, but this piece is much more detailed and written by someone who actually knows something:
Why 3D Printing Is Overhyped (I Should Know, I Do It For a Living)

We are still firmly in the honeymoon period with 3D printing — we’re in awe of it and what it can do. But when you look at just the parts produced and not the way they were produced, printed parts are a long way behind in terms of quality, and when there often is no cost advantage, Captain Everyday will always go for the mass-produced one.

He makes an analogy between the 3D printer and the bread machines of the 80s and 90s that I think is quite apt, in terms of hype vs. utility. But the clearest analogy–the one built into the damned *name* of the device, yet still alludes lots of folks when they *talk* about 3D printing–is to the desktop printer.
When desktop printers and “desktop publishing” became ubiquitous, no one predicted a future where we’d all buy books and magazines on diskette, then print and bind them ourselves–not because ebooks were even a gleam in anyone’s eye yet, but because just a glimpse at any “desktop published” material made the comparison laughable. Printers are super handy, and desktop publishing basically maturity into its own unique, all-electronic medium, but they’re basically for *prototyping* literature, not mass-producing and distributing it. And someone still has to sink a lot of swear an time into actually creating something worth distributing and printing. 3D printing? Same-same.