Recommended Read/Listen: “20 Simple Steps to Ventriloquism” by Jon Padgett

PseudoPod 433: “20 Simple Steps to Ventriloquism”

I absolutely guarantee the last couple twists are ones you ain’t gonna see coming, dummy. 

[photo credit: “Photo booth portrait of two clowns and a ventriloquist dummy” by oakenroad is licensed under CC BY 2.0. ]

Shameless Self-Promotion: Award Eligibility 2022🚀🦑🏆

I have exactly one story published this year eligible for Nebulas, Stokers, and so on:

This Place Is Best Shunnedon Tor.com

It’s a free read for all; if you should wanna nominate it for anything, it runs ~10,000 words, and thus falls into either the “novelette” or “long fiction” categories. Enjoy!

“Big Dick Brigade!” *tee hee!*

Yes, this was a real ad for a real thing, with no entendre intended. And, yes, I have the mentality of a toddler.

Although lines of ad copy such as “Get Big Dick and be envied by every boy in town,” “Become a member of the ‘Big Dick Brigade,’” and “How to get BIG DICK free” might seem like obvious double entendres to modern audiences, they were not read as such by customers of the time.

Is This a Real Ad for a ‘Big Dick’ Machine Gun for Kids?” by David Mikkelson
vintage advertisement for "Big Dick" toy gun via https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/big-dick-machine-gun-toy/

subject: “DAVID, BE YOURSELF – You are perfect in every way!”

Whenever folks are like “Dave, aren’t you worried about AI making your job obsolete?” I’ll just remember this crackerjack spam bot’s best attempt at closing the sale:

SPOILER ALERT: I’m an emphatically Jewish straight cis-gendered father who looks awful in long-sleeved T-shirts/crew-necked sweatshirts.

Halloween Treats from Dave-o!!! 🍂🍁🎃👻🕯🤡🔪🥩💀

A handful of seasonally-appropriate tales: