I sorta love that this is from Sandler’s fifth (and final) year on the show and he still flubbed his opening line.
Category: Video
Go Watch *Monsters*

I had no idea they even had free feature-length movies on YouTube. Anyway, go watch Monsters. It’s just as good as I remember it being in the theaters; back then it felt like it was mostly about U.S. foreign/immigration policy with a smattering of Chernobyl anxiety (this was back in 2010). Now, in the midst of a plague year, it feels like it’s sort of about a lot more.
Also, are you finding that, when watching old movies now, you’re often distracted by how close people stand to each other, how blithely they enter each other’s homes or push into crowds, maskless? How we used to live was crazy, right? 😷
Xappy XrismanuKwanzXanukahNacht!!! ♪♫♪♬🎅🏿🎄✡️🐲🔥🇺🇸⛄️🕎
I’m a Jew—born and raised—but I come from a “mixed” family (they say “interfaith” now). My dad is a Jew, but my mom was raised Christian. Both my maternal grandparents—with whom my sisters and I spent a lot of time—were practicing Christians. Interfaith families are really common now (my wife and I are mixed), but were much less so when I was young.

As you’re likely aware, back when I was a kid there weren’t a lot of Xanukah songs for us Jewish kids. But there were absolutely zero songs for mixed half-a-Jews with an Xmas tree and a Xanukiah and a cat that managed to catch fire in the Xanukah candles every year and Xtian grandparents who came to town on Xmas Eve specifically to partake in the Jewish tradition of Xmas Chinese food.
There weren’t many mixed kids like us—and there weren’t any songs or holiday specials or children’s books that reflected what we saw and felt and loved about wintertime.
So these are my songs, for all the little intersectional mixed kids out there, who don’t have any holiday songs to sing.
Pay Toilet Locks—“The Lock Defeated By Feminism”
I sat there behind the wheel of my car, not sure what I should do, wishing I was someplace else, anyplace else, trying on shoes at Thom McAn’s, filling out a credit application in a discount store, standing in front of a pay toilet stall with diarrhea and no dime. Anyplace, man. It didn’t have to be Monte Carlo. Mostly I sat there wishing I was older.
—from Christine, by Stephen King
“I Execute Judgement on You (COVID-19)!” 🦠🎸🤘⛪️
These guys really should collaborate on more projects! What band is the old dude in? Was he one of the guys from GWAR?
The Ollie vs. Gorilla Grip 🛹
Your regular reminder that Richie Jackson is a national treasure.
(Just to be clear, the gorilla grip was indeed a real thing; the history bits in that video are true and accurate.)
Being Inside a Car Tire while Driving
Wonderfully hypnotic and peristaltic:
I love the sounds and hypno-peristalsis of this so much, I made a super-cut of just the in-tire bits:
Teddy Has an Operation
presented without comment
I’m not taking sides here, but Aziz Ansari makes an excellent point…
Also, every time I hear Aziz Ansari say “pizza” this damn thing starts rolling in my head. 🍕卐
Gun Locks Are Generally Pretty Crap, and This One Is Even Worse
Want a good gun lock? Try this (some assembly required).