Category: Music

♬♫♪ STROKIN’ ♬♫♪

The looks on these Québécois’ faces tell me that they do not have a strong command of the English language.

Strike that: the Mike Pence-looking Midnight Cowboy furthest to the right? I think that mofo 1) speaks serviceable English, 2) selected this song, and 3) told the rest of the dance team that it’s about competitive swimming.

(For reference, here’s the original video; God bless Clarence Carter, he is a national treasure)

I was never a “Union Forever” kinda guy . . .

. . . but Elon Musk’s breathtaking lack of shits to give for human life and limb pretty much makes me want to perpetually barf down his throat.

Tesla CEO Elon Musk, whose factory in Fremont, California, has more OSHA violations and fines than the big three automakers combined from 2014 to 2018, announced that he was moving the company’s corporate offices to Austin

source

I recently spoke to an expert on automative safety testing for things like human-AI interaction, and that person characterized Tesla’s attitude toward developing their Autopilot™ and Full-Self Driving™ systems* as “deploy first, test later, and use real life experiences for their testing.”

* FUN FACT: Despite using the names “Autopilot™” and “Full-Self Driving™”, neither system can actually function autonomously. They are both considered, at best, “Level 2” ADAS.

On the occasion of his 365th day spent shredding guitar and filing patents in Heaven

This is a real illustration for a real patent really filed by (and granted to) Eddie Van Halen—yes, that Eddie Van Halen of the band Van Halen, may his memory be for a blessing.

Fig 1, US Patent 4,656,917, "Musical instrument support," Eddie Van Halen

(FUN FACT: The above video has not “aged poorly”; it was exactly as offensive in 1984 as it is today. Also, still hella catchy.)

Hieronymus Bosch Butt Music ♬♫♪

From the artist:

“Music printed on the butt of one of the tortured souls in the 15th Century Hieronymus Bosch painting “The Garden of Earthly Delights” , Played on (What else?) Lute, Harp, and Hurdy-Gurdy by James Spalink. The melody is based on the transcription by Amelia Hamrick. The intro and outro employ the “Devil’s Interval”, and the last couple of measures are conjecture on my part. You could say that I just “pulled them out of my”-well, you know…..”

BONUS: Here’s a fun little tool for exploring Bosch’s triptych in excruciatingly high-rez detail from the comfort of your uncomfortable office chair!

Xappy XrismanuKwanzXanukahNacht!!! ♪♫♪♬🎅🏿🎄✡️🐲🔥🇺🇸⛄️🕎

I’m a Jew—born and raised—but I come from a “mixed” family (they say “interfaith” now).  My dad is a Jew, but my mom was raised Christian.  Both my maternal grandparents—with whom my sisters and I spent a lot of time—were practicing Christians. Interfaith families are really common now (my wife and I are mixed), but were much less so when I was young.

As you’re likely aware, back when I was a kid there weren’t a lot of Xanukah songs for us Jewish kids. But there were absolutely zero songs for mixed half-a-Jews with an Xmas tree and a Xanukiah and a cat that managed to catch fire in the Xanukah candles every year and Xtian grandparents who came to town on Xmas Eve specifically to partake in the Jewish tradition of Xmas Chinese food.

There weren’t many mixed kids like us—and there weren’t any songs or holiday specials or children’s books that reflected what we saw and felt and loved about wintertime.

So these are my songs, for all the little intersectional mixed kids out there, who don’t have any holiday songs to sing.