Another remix of deep cuts from my crates of old Simpsons episode LPs and highly recognizable bits and bites from the original motion picture soundtrack for the 1986 cult-classic horror-thriller Churchville’s Purgatorio. (As with the last two installments, be advised that big bass demands big headphones.)
Author: dave-o
This is Actually Pretty Goddamned Brilliant
At first brush, this looks stupid—a 3d-printing solution for a cardboard-and-scotch-tape problem—but watch the video; this is fucking brilliant (given my general skepticism and snarkery about 3D printing, that constitutes high praise indeed):
I love that it goes totally unmentioned that he stole her watch…
…on stage, in front of several thousand people. He slips it off the left wrist of the assistant standing to his right (our left) at the 1:40 min mark. You can even see him pocket it. I love this, because it never plays into the trick (which is, itself, an incredibly rudimentary one; I did a version of this when I was 10 and got my first magic kit for Non-Denominational Gift Giving Holiday Season. I’m pretty shocked this made it on.) In many ways, it’s the greatest grift of all time: Dude does a frenetic rendition of a less-than-mediocre effect (even his patter is a decade old, and sorta stock) in order to create a grand misdirection so he can steal a junk-jewelry watch. It’s one for the ages.
In the Old West, Nick Offerman Was a Harsh and Unforgiving God #FACT
“Whatever Comes After Calcutta” in the November/December F&SF
My latest horror story, the novelete “Whatever Comes After Calcutta,” is
in the current issue of The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction—and it’s a helluvan issue: New stories by Kate Wilhelm, Larry Niven, and Marc Laidlaw, and more. If you’re interested in the intersection of witches, lawyers, sovereign citizens, highway travel, and rural Ohio, then this is the novelete for you!
F&SF is stocked at Barnes & Noble and lots of indie stores—or you can get the thing as an ebook. Plenty of options; links below.
If you read the story and have thoughts or feels, I’d love to hear them: Tweet at me or email. Thanks!
Wanna Buy a Copy?
- The Nov/Dec F&SF is now in bookstores throughout the US, including most Barnes & Noble locations.
- To buy it online:
- Paper copies and subscriptions
- Weightless Books (available worldwide so, for example, Canadian readers—who are currently stiffed by Amazon—can buy electronic copies)
- Amazon US (Kindle edition)
- Amazon UK (Kindle edition)
Wanna Help Spread the Hype?
- Tweet (retweet it!):
- Facebook post (share it!):
- Goodreads link (review it!)
- Nebula Awards: F&SF makes every story they publish available to SFWA members on the password-protected Nebula Forums. If you’re an SFWA member (or know some), feel free to hit them with that link and they can download and read “Whatever Comes After Calcutta” (and tons of other great stories) for free.
Beats per Week #07: “Radiation” (heads-up @johnchurchville )
Another club-banger remixed from the soundtrack to the 1986 low-budget horror-thriller Churchville’s Purgatorio. (As with last week’s installment—also remixed from the original score to Churchville’s Purgatorio—be advised that big bass demands big headphones.)
“Of Archival Interest Only” (on artists who behave despicably)—UPDATED
I normally would have skipped this (“Vulture—Louis CK Is Done”), because I don’t particularly care for Louis C.K.’s work one way or the other. But do yourself a favor and give this article read; it’s bigger than this moment, and starts to get its arms around something that we finally need to wrestle down:
When disturbing stories about respected artists come from the distant past, we treat them dispassionately, as just one detail among many. Present tense or near-present tense revelations hit us differently because we share the same world as the artist, breathe the same air, feed the same economy. We think of them as contemporaries, even as people we know. This kind of revelation changes the relationship between the artist and the art, in a way that places an unasked-for, unfair burden on the audience. This is what’s happening culture-wide. And it’s not the fault of people who didn’t report it, or audiences who aren’t sophisticated enough to separate the art from the artist. It’s the fault of the artists for being secret creeps or criminals, and the fault of the system for making it possible for them to act this way for years without being punished.
UPDATE:If you’re the sort of person who uses storytelling to help them understand the world, then this horror story might maybe help you understand Louis CK right now: “Hello, Handsome”
If I’ve learned anything from my daughter…
…it’s that every love note is a ransom note.

Beats per Week #06: “The Flautist is Suffering” (for @johnchurchville )
A grimy little one-off aimed squarely at John Churchville—but the rest of you can listen in, if you like (pro-tip: Probably most fun on headphones or speakers with biiiiiiig bass).
Start NaNoWriMo Right! Smash Writers Bloc!
Lots of you are creative sorts, and all creative sorts struggle with the same million-faced goblin, under a variety of: Writer’s Block, procrastination, “activation energy,” the Lil Hater, Imposter Syndrome, not inspired, “so busy!”, obligations, etc.
I’ve spent pretty much my entire adult life wrestling this same sinister, slippery blob, and talking with other creative folk about what we each do to try and wrangle that ass-jackal into a corner so we can Get Shit Done.
I’d like to share the choicest bits with you. Learn to:
- Use “Sprint Bursts” to build your writing muscles
- Eat the frog and puke up the draft
- Harness the power of the Pomodoro
- Work with “The Guys Downstairs” to do the heavy lifting before you sit down to write
This is all wrapped up in a tidy little week-long clinic, waling you through the process of laying the groundwork for a solid Daily Writing Ritual. The clinic is totally free, with no lingering hassles. This list doesn’t get combined with my newsletter or anything else, and there is no hard sell, because I don’t have anything to sell. Just the benefit of my experience and that of the other writers I know. Sign up, get the first email the following Monday, and the final check-in/thank you a week later. That’s it.
Wanna invest 10 minutes a day into getting the words flowing? Check it out: