Yes, this was a real ad for a real thing, with no entendre intended. And, yes, I have the mentality of a toddler.
Although lines of ad copy such as “Get Big Dick and be envied by every boy in town,” “Become a member of the ‘Big Dick Brigade,’” and “How to get BIG DICK free” might seem like obvious double entendres to modern audiences, they were not read as such by customers of the time.
“Is This a Real Ad for a ‘Big Dick’ Machine Gun for Kids?” by David Mikkelson
Wonderfully hypnotic and peristaltic:
I love the sounds and hypno-peristalsis of this so much, I made a super-cut of just the in-tire bits:
This simulation is extremely worth your time—even if you think you understand the challenges we’re facing with coronavirus:
Sadly neglected here: They do not mention that the previous world record for developing an effective vaccine is four years—not the ~9 months the PotUS keeps insisting is possible, or the “Idunno; maybe about a year?” the rest of us keep saying.
That’s the fastest humanity has ever developed a vaccine. The average is more like two decades.
It’s totally possible that the Russian vaccine is safe, legit, and works.
But it’s unlikely.
And it’s likewise unlikely—to the point of impossible—that a nation like ours (where cities within miles of each other have massive racial/economic differences, massively different experiences of this virus, and rarely commingle) will develop herd immunity soon (if ever).
Meanwhile, this virus is killing Americans 10x faster than guns.
You are doing things differently now than you did a year ago. The immediate future looks a lot more like last May than last Christmas. Prepare yourself for that.
. . . but either you agree that this is the greatest space alien The Twilight Zone ever coughed up, or we can’t be friends any more. This is my thin blue red line in the sand, folks.
DISCLOSURE: If you wanna argue that the alien at the end of this episode is technically the better alien, you are welcome to do so
…it’s that every love note is a ransom note.
…and learned that, if you wanna know what it’s like being me, microdose LSD.
Episode #44—”Shine On You Crazy Goldman”—from Reply All
(DISCLOSURE: I have indeed dropped acid. It made me almost entirely unbearably me-like. None of this constitutes an endorsement of anything other than this particular episode of this podcase.)
